Death....

Death a word I’m so unaccustomed to yet the world expects you to deal with it. At eighteen it is still a faraway, distant land for me. Something I don’t want to think of, something I’m still afraid of. Yes, I’m afraid of it, its dreadful, its dark, its beyond this world, no one knows what it is like and those that know can never come back to tell how it felt. Yes, this very concept of not coming back, gives me shivers. An uncanny truth is that God has kept me away from a death that is about to happen. My Grandpa died of cancer, I was at my maternal house while the rituals were carried on. I was three. My Grandma died of cerebral infuction far away in Gujarat, I stayed back in Kolkata. I was sixteen. These were old age deaths which people usually take as an eventuality. Recently I had been to Bangalore for an engineering entrance exam, I came back to face a stark truth. A very close associate of ours had died of a heart attack within split seconds even before doctors could be brought in. An untimely death and everybody’s shocked.I practically don’t know how to react. I have one problem, I can’t express my emotions in front of people……I cannot cry, I feel drained putting up a façade every moment. I want to cry and I want to hug Raj (It was his father who left all of us for his heavenly abode on the 2^nd of May 08….Raj happens to be one of my good friends) and say ……say what ?.....I have no words ……Silence is the only option I guess….it speaks, it breaks barriers, it will reach him. I hope he confides in me his deepest sorrows and choicest regrets !